Hibernation

I can definitely see why animals decide that winter should be spent asleep and in hiding. Today I was quite tempted to hibernate in my bed, however, I'm up, half awake, and listening to some Paul Simon, about to do some theology study. Fun fun!! I do wonder slightly if cold influences my ability to think though...whether extreme cold kills brain cells, or maybe just the weaker, less needed ones...

Something to ponder when you have a spare moment. 

I know I don't!

Yesterday was a very nice, but very busy day. Church was followed by lunch at Nando's, then a trip to Asda for people to buy pudding, then a walk along the beach, a pit stop in the Harvester to warm up, followed by a few hours spent playing games and cooking dinner at a friend's house before heading to the pub to round up a very sociable day! It was a late one, but it was nice to hang out and not to have to organise lots and lots of people for once. I spent most of my time with these lovely people.

In attempting to get this photo we had a jogger running past and interrupting us. Jogging, how ridiculous! I couldn't feel my fingers and I had super warm mittens on ^^^^ See!!

Madness.

Aaaaaanyway. I am on a bit of a ramble, and I should go and read my book on "The Heart of Refomred Theology". It sounds good.

Keep warm friends, and don't get snowed in.
xxxx

All over the shop

as you would say. I loved seeing you today, even for a short time.

Normally I'd head straight to bed following a night out, and by night out I don't mean I became super social and went to town and such, although I have just been to a bit of a house party. I have that horrible ability to over-think EVERYTHING. And analyse. And criticise... My normal way of shutting my brain off is to sleep. Hence there don't tend to be post night FB status' or blogs.

Well, here's to change. I'm going to rant about my head feeling all over the shop and then hopefully sleep with a few less musings clouding my dreams. John Mayer is going to accompany me as I attempt to explain a little of my current situation. Be prepared, I'll keep it as cheerful as possible.

When I chose to spend another year in Bournemouth, it wasn't without a fair few concerns, the odd voiced worry from friends and a whole heap of fear. I'd spent the previous year absolutely adamant that I would be any where than Bournemouth, and not that I don't love this little seaside town, but it is just that, a small, seaside town...and it's not quite what I want.

Imagine my shock when God said to stay. Imagine my further shock when my adamant no, was a pretty satisfied, yeah okay... I can't take credit for that one, and it was definitely a miracle. In the process God restored a few things that had made me pretty miserable, and so that definitely helped.

The past few months have been a whirl wind of events, new people, theology, lack of sleep, challenges, beautiful moments and lots of laughter. It's been amazing, I know it's exactly what I needed and this is where I'm meant to be. Don't get me wrong, I can without a doubt see the HUGE positives.

But here comes the frustration. I'm one of those stupid people who has the ability to adapt to most situations, I'm good at observation and at camouflage so tend to blend in (hence the fear of being a boring person! Laugh all you like, it's totally true.) This camouflage fandango is in some ways great, in some ways it's really not. Every so often I have a bit of a crisis of personality and forget who I am, or worry too much about what people think.

Before you switch off and call the ambulance, I am aware that occasionally when I spill my thoughts, it does sound like I need my head examined. Hopefully things will come together in a second.

The past few months have been so busy that I've not really spent a lot of time pondering myself...I've pondered a fair few other things, but not me, quite so much. With things a little quieter, me a little tireder and life a little bit more messy, I find myself in a bit of a pickle.

I'm here for another 10 months. I am amazingly excited and I know there will be so many highlights.
Simultaneously I want to run a billion miles and travel the world. All the old fears resurface, and although things are definitely not the same, it's hard to feel that I'm not moving on or doing things at the same pace as some of my closest friends.

Stupid, stupid, stupid, and in need of a slap with a wet fish, I know I need to get my head right. There is a time and a place for all things, and my place is here, and the time is now. I am happy, but occasionally I just get that odd twinge of doubt.

A good christmas present would be a doubt squisher. Or a twinge destroyer. So, if you're stuck for ideas, you've got some planning to do.

Anyway, hopefully after some sleep, a cuddle with my cat and church tomorrow I'll be back to normal. Whatever that is.

Much Love Chums.
xxx



PS - tonight someone applied a tiger tattoo to my hand. It's so I could do tiger puppet by opening my thumb and first finger. I'll leave you to imagine. It's made my evening. x

Just because I love books

Have you read more than 6 of these books? The BBC believes most people will have read only 6 of the 100 books listed here. Instructions: Copy this into your NOTES. Bold those books you've read in their entirety, italicize the ones you started but didn't finish or read an excerpt. Tag other book nerds. Tag me as well so I can see your responses!

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen

2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte

4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling

5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee

6 The Bible

7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte

8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell

9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman

10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens

11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott

12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hard

13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller

14 Complete Works of Shakespeare

15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier

16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien

17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk

18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger

19 The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger

20 Middlemarch - George Eliot

21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell

22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald

23 Bleak House- Charles Dickens

24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy

25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams

26 Brideshead Revisited- Evelyn Waugh

27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck

29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll

30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame

31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy

32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens

33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis

34 Emma -Jane Austen

35 Persuasion - Jane Austen

36 The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe - CS Lewis

37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini

38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres

39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden

40 Winnie the Pooh - A.A. Milne

41 Animal Farm - George Orwell

42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown

43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving

45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins

46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery

47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy

48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood

49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding

50 Atonement - Ian McEwan

51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel

52 Dune - Frank Herbert

53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons

54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen

55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth

56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens

58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley

59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon

60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck

62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov

63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt

64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold

65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas

66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac  

67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy

68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding

69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie

70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville

71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens

72 Dracula - Bram Stoker

73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett

74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson

75 Ulysses - James Joyce

76 The Inferno - Dante

77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome

78 Germinal - Emile Zola

79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray

80 Possession - AS Byatt

81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens

82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell

83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker

84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro

85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert

86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry

87 Charlotte’s Web - E.B. White

88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom

89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton

91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad

92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks

94 Watership Down - Richard Adams

95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole

96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute

97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas

98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare

99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl

100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo




I have a long way to go, but I am excited about the wealth of books out there. Geeky love to fellow geeks :D
xxx

Ummmm

I want to write but I think this time, my diary might be better. 

So for you lovely little friends, have 8 points why Jesus definitely is alive and the resurrection DID happen, and a nice little song recommendation. I am off to blabber my thoughts to my slightly more private journal. I think then I am less likely to be judged a stupid person. 

1. Jesus definitely died

2. Jesus' tomb was well known

3. Jesus' tomb was well guarded

4. The tomb was empty

5. Women found the tomb

6. 500 People saw Jesus

7. The disciples and others were amazingly transformed from terrified rabbits to bold lions (not literal animals btw)

8. The disciples wouldn't die for a lie

So, if that's true, Christianity is true and has massive implications. Who else can rise from the dead?

It makes me exceedingly satisfied that my faith is not just built on a few nice ideas, a moral suggestion or some traditional rules that have existed, it's based on undeniable, legally approved fact.

Fact.

This is my new favourite album of the week

John Mark McMillan – The Medicine

It's beautiful. 

Love x

PS thank you for my badge :)

Cat update

On Tuesday I came home to find a mouse in the kitchen.
By Thursday it was dead.

Tonight I come home to find a mouse in the cat food bowl.
Clearly cat biscuits don't do it for them any more.

Problem is, the mouse was slightly alive...clearly going to die, but I feel mean that I put it in the bin. I think it's back was broken but I still feel like an animal killer...stupid cats.

Today turned into a bit of a manic day. I think I have finally lost all restraints on the crazy, and I'm getting the odd funny look every now and then.
In other news, I had my first 'FP Cry'. Now, don't become all pitying, in fact it's almost a relief. FP is notoriously tough both for the busy manic life you lead, but also for the emotional upheaval and challenges you have to face. I'm not really a cryer, except when reading or watching films, or occasionally in church.

By the time I had hit my second FP training block in October, I was a bit of a wreck head wise, and just really weary, but I hadn't cried (unlike most of the other girls who had amusing stories of crying in offices on people who were giving them more work) ......until today. I was quite cheerful but a couple of stressful phone calls later, a situation out of my hands and a little more responsibility made me crack.

To the toilets I go to control myself. I think disaster was avoided, salt water didn't pour from my eyes and flood the rest of the office staff; I didn't create another Flood, so luckily Noah and his boat didn't need to be called in. And neither did I have a snot fest, which would've grossed every one out without a doubt.

Perhaps I am becoming that mature person...

HA who am I kidding, I spent youth work tonight pretending to be from Gladiator and shouting 'Are you rrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaadyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!!!!!!!!!'

Lots of love kids
x

Pyjamas.

Stealing from http://sarahspyjamas.blogspot.com/

Things are a little scary pyjamas in my head currently.
I have too many thoughts, and too much going on.

I'm moving out and announced that one to the parental tonight. Ha, that was taken well...
This weekend I have youth work, seeing two very close friends, a student worship event, HARRY POTTER :D and then church, pub, and alpha.

I fear sleep is going to evaporate. My brain is dead and I am totally unable to control the crazy. Literally unable.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Crazy and pensive. Maybe you can tell?

I realise this blog says nothing, but
1. Follow Sarah's blog ^
2. Watch The West Wing and share my deep geeky love for American politics.
3. Send me post. PLEASE

<3

Cat madness

I am not a crazy cat person, but I do own two crazy cats. There's a difference I promise. 

One cat, nicknamed spasticat for the way he fell out of a window, didn't land on his feet, broke his leg, had bone removed and now has a leg without a socket so it just hangs, decided today to catch a nice cute little mouse. 

This mouse, according to my sister on my arrival home, was dead on the kitchen floor and urgently needed removing by me because she is a wimp. (I thought you became all grown up at 13? No, my mistake...)

I dubiously enter the kitchen.

There's no mouse.

Not one. 

The spasticat enters. Sniffs, and sulks and scurries around trying to find the 'dead' mouse.

I now have an alive mouse hiding behind the washing machine, that is likely injured, likely dying, and likely to make one hell of a smell. 

My other cat prides herself on being snootty. She just slid on our wooden floor and fell backwards. She is also now sulking.

My life is ridiculous. My biggest fear is being a lonely crazy old cat lady. Someone ensure that NEVER happens. And preferably I'd like you to address the alone part of that statement instead of banning me from owning pets. 

Love

Half mad lady

PS - New Newday album out! Yay!

Matt Redman – King of Nations

PPS - Prince William is engaged and I am only jealous because Kate Middleton gets what every girl truly wants...to actually become a real live princess.

PPPS - watch this video. I hope it makes you laugh as much as it made me laugh.

Tell me

"Can you lie next to her
And give her your heart, your heart
As well as your body
And can you lie next to her
And confess your love, your love
As well as your folly
And can you kneel before the king
And say I’m clean, I’m clean..."

Girls

I am a girl (obviously I hope) and I went to an all girls school. Lots of my friends are girls, and I love them dearly. 

Some of them live very far away, and I miss them during term time when we don't get to be together and have ridiculous slobby moments and laugh like loons. They bring out the best in me normally and I love them for it.

Today I am going to see one of them :D YAY! She is ginger, she's going to be a doctor but she is very scatty and I love her very much. 

Sadly, three others favourite people in the world are also congregating in a seaside town, just not mine. It's Kate's birthday on the 17th so she is having a masque party. If you know her this is very fitting. She is like a living blob of glitter and colour. Sarah who is my most distant friend lives in the highest mountains in a strange place called Durham. She is insane but sometimes has to hide this insanity. She is the coolest person I know but occasionally she tends to bite..Odd yes. She is going to Brighton to see Kate.

Then there's Antonia, probably my longest friend. We speak through eyes, and sometimes in our own language because we know what the other says before they say it. She is uber special, totally batty and very curly. 

This is not all of my close friends, just the ones I am thinking about lots today. 

I would like a reunion please. You've been out of my life too long, and I am in need of some stupidity, madness and babbling.

Little sad you aren't here. Come and bring me hugs
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Music

So, another wonderful evening with my student and twenties buddies... Wow, that sounds lame. Still, I love them. Tonight was open mic, I was hosting which meant the constant use of a microphone and many a puzzled face as I realised that I still hadn't got the hang of how to turn it on. Sometimes I wonder why I'm not blonde, and then I understand that I would look HIDEOUS with blonde hair.

I digress, tonight was filled with astoundingly talented people showcasing their music. Everything from Alicia Keys, to Kings of Leon, to Tenth Avenue North to originals (I like those best!) was played tonigIht and added in a fair bit of DJing too. On top of this we had some delicious home made autumn themed cakes because we're cool like that, and some punch.

The punch itself is another story really. Yesterday the huge industrial oven and hob that resides in the church kitchen was announced as unsafe to use because it doesn't meet the most up to date laws. Such twaddle! Anywho, it meant that the wonderful punch we made tonight couldn't be heated. So, using our creative minds, a friend and I decided to make it in the microwave. A few weeks ago one of the guys in the office told me how you can super heat water in the microwave so that when you touch it it explodes in your face (it's a billion times hotter than just boiling water), so with this threat in mind we embarked upon the most epic of punch making missions. Fortunately it was delicious and I drank many a mug-ful of delicious autumn-ness.

So with all of this going on, I was then subjected to the beautiful voices of people who could sing. Needless to say, I wasn't going to complain. My general conclusion is, I love people who play guitar. Namely boys who have music genius. You make me melt at the knees, and in my middle and generally cripple me :)

Well done there.
So, with mush on the brain I'm going to go to bed. My younger sister is having a sleepover. These crazy tweenagers are no doubt going to disrupt my sleep. Nasty children. I am going to be the loving, patient and cool older sibling who does things like open mic and punch making.

Farewell friends.
Lots of insane love xxx


PS Tonight I met someone who recognised me from Facebook because he added me. I feel I have achieved new heights of cool. x

Bubble

I have decided that living in a bubble is a little unhealthy and my insanity is not having enough space to breathe. 

Today is a good day; sunshine, a spotty dress, new DVDs and an open mic night tonight. 

I am looking forward to a night of music and cake and coffee. Sadly lots of people aren't around :'( boo hoo. 

Still, FUN is the theme of tonight, and I plan to have much of it.

Love x

For you:

It started out as a feeling

Which then grew into a hope

Which then turned into a quiet thought

Which then turned into a quiet word

And then that word grew louder and louder

'Til it was a battle cry

I'll come back

When you call me

No need to say goodbye

Just because everything's changing

Doesn't mean it's never

Been this way before

All you can do is try to know

Who your friends are

As you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon

And follow the light

You'll come back

When it's over

No need to say good bye

You'll come back

When it's over

No need to say good bye

Now we're back to the beginning

It's just a feeling and no one knows yet

But just because they can't feel it too 

Doesn't mean that you have to forget

Let your memories grow stronger and stronger

'Til they're before your eyes

You'll come back

When they call you

No need to say good bye

You'll come back

When they call you

No need to say good bye